September 08, 2010

Voices in my head

I am into mommy blogs these days. There are tons and tons of them talking about pee, poop, feeds, midnight wakings, terrible two's, terrible three's, terrible fours etc get the idea!
And I am desperate to join them. What if lil N feels left out when he grows up? All his buddies will have mommy bloggers while his mommy does not blog! Oh my! I think.
And then I keep wondering how long the "www" will last? Maybe I should start keeping a journal on my laptop? But eh who will comment? Isn't blogging all about getting feedback? Camon! Accept it!
I am an Asst Prof now. So I should not be blogging. Why not? I am sure there are 1000's of them doing just that.
Stop the voices in my head! My hands cannot furiously type what they are thinking!
Student life was so much fun. And now here I am sitting all alone in my big office. Watching the FOB desi students walk by asking for assistantships. No, ma I don't have any I say. If I had one, I may not give it to you because I know exactly how I "worked" when I was given one. Sitting in the lab till midnight every day, appearing to be working while I ended up watching movies on Tamil grounds. You are not going to be doing that in my lab I think. But my heart does go out to them but my mind stops be from being impractical. (I am a good person, don't judge me by this!)
I want to go home and take a nap. Oh no, I forget I can't do that! Because there is a lil devil who will jump on me as soon as I go home and hug me and will not let me go. A tremendous pleasure I tell you on 99% of the days. but on days like today all I want to do is go home and sleep. Maybe I can nap in my office and no one will know? What if the desi student walks in?
I think I better get back to preparing my lecture. That's the only way to put these voices to rest. So long!

April 30, 2009

Where to begin?

After a very long time, I happened to visit my own blog. I am at work now but too lazy to do anything but vetti stuff.
I stopped blogging a while ago, maybe because there were so many changes happening that did not give me enough time. I would be lying if I said that I do not find time to write but in reality I do not have time to reflect.
In the last 2 years, I have graduated with a PhD and moved across the US twice. Now in addition we are expecting a new member in the family. All good things! Maybe that's the reason for me not blogging. Its the disappointments in life that have inspired most of my blogs and ofcourse as a single graduate student you have loads of time in your hands.
Also the fact the my other fellow bloggers have stopped blogging may have put me off a little.
And importantly that the one person who influenced, inspired and disappointed me is not a close part of my life anymmore.
Excuses, excuses you think?!
I want to start blogging again. And to my fellow bloggers who have followed me these years, I urge you to start bloggint oo. we should all be one happy family again.

January 16, 2008

Whats for Dinner, Honey????

What has 2 hands, 2 feet, a big appetite and does not want to cook or clean? Answer: A married man. I can see hear you swear and say "Hey! I share the daily house work !". Well, consider yourself as one of the few married to a darn lucky gal! I should confess that I am one of the few who is lucky on most days when my guy offers to help around. Why am I letting steam stressing specifically on the word MARRIED man? Because this man before he got married was perfectly capable of making the perfect chicken tikkas, keep his house tidy, doing his own laundry etc etc and once he ties the knot, POOF! pops the question "What's for dinner, Honey?" This is not a myth! This happens with 70% of the people I know. Its not just the guys who are ingrained this way but the elders of the society are of no help either . Long distance phone conversations always start by asking the gal what she cooked today, and to the guy about what he thinks of India's situation wrt cricket?. Why not the guy? And sometimes the gal even thinks it is her "duty" to serve the family. Can you believe this, in this age of Oprah and Hillary? One of my friends says, "My wife likes to be in-charge of the kitchen, so she never lets me enter." I think thats a BS excuse, my friend!!!
I agree ofcourse that this generation of men are better than the generation of our fore-fathers who never entered the kitchen come what may. But why does society expect the woman to be the house keeper? Why not the man pitch in when the woman is working her ass of during the day at her own job?
To those out there, who are not anything like the species I ranted about.....Kudos to you! You are savvy!!! And keep that up!
I am not a hard core feminist or anything but just want to put this thought out there...if you are a guy and reading this blog, never say " Whats for dinner, honey" but say "What shall WE make for dinner, honey?". Believe me, thats not only the best way to your gal's heart but also lays the foundation for a very strong family.

September 23, 2007

Never fails to cheer me up....

I had this poster (actually a print out) in my room for years now...I never glanced at it on ordinary days but whenever I felt lonely or dull, the words always managed to lift my spirits. I truly believed in these words. Since I moved, I do not have this poster with me....I could never forget the words......I am embedding it here, so I can come by anytime.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human
and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


At this very moment I miss you, my dear friend, so much that I wish I could hold you for real.

March 24, 2007

Things I dream to do but never will

* Bunk work without warning, rent a car and drive away to an unplanned destination with a friend
* Invest all of my tiny savings into making a movie
* Star in that movie
* Say 'I love you' to somebody random for the heck of it

* Sing at a concert (my voice is horrible - FYI)
* Dance at a concert (again bad bad dancer)
* Buy a 6 ft teddy bear
* Show the finger at bad drivers

* Slap somebody (like they show heroines do in movies...ithu possibla?)

* Whistle at a super hot guy !!

* Wink at a girl (this is just for funzies!!!)
* Buy a house on the beach (i fear the tsunami, so not a possibility of this wish happening)
* Buy a purse everytime I buy a dress (I lauv expensive purses!!!)
* Finally, drive my car with "Thee pidika thee pidika" in full blast

January 17, 2007

Wating for a voicemail.....

I am in a long distance relationship for a looooong time now and believe me it is tough! The pros of long distance relationship, as given by various websites and ‘start being happy’ kinda books are BS! The choice of staying away for me is due to the first priority given to career…..but is it really worth it I ask myself many many times.

This is how my typically day usually is (thanks to the great free minutes that cell phone providers give me…)

8.30 am : Me calling…..tring tring tring….no answer…leave voice mail….msg sounds something like this “Hi honey! Good Morning! Naan ippo avasarama kilambaren….labula signal edukathu…so will call u sometime during the day……love u!”

10.00 am: Check voice mail…… “Sorry sweetie! Missed your call…was in the shower……will catch u during the day. Have a nice day!”

Try calling…tring tring…no answer …leave voice mail

Noon: Another voice mail from him….Try calling again …..tring tring…

Here you can add another couple of voice mails from both sides…….

7.00 pm: Me calling again.... tring tring… yeh! finally I catch summarize the 5 min conversation……he is cooking/ he is in the gym/ he is still at got to talk later……this happens with me when I am engaged with other things too…

11.40 pm: Mission impossibe tune starts playing…this is my phone ringing now….finally we talk for say 10 mins…catch up on the main events of the day….both of us too tried to stay awake….miss sharing the small events like the ice-cream I ate, the shoe he bought, how mean my boss was to me, how he saw this full fgiure girl (yes his eyes still wanders), the joke I loved on Scrubs etc etc……

And another day ends!

Other than phone calls, emails and scraps are exchanged but nothing like talking right? And ofcourse setting up a time to talk everyday uninterrupted works for a few days and back to old habits again!

Why am I pulambufying so much? Coz my dear readers, do not get to into a long distance and if you do….keep the time spent that way very short. Ennoda unwarranted advice ithu!

And despite listening to his annoying gruff voicemail atleast 10 times everyday, I forgive him (and he forgives me) as soon as I hear his voice!

December 03, 2006

Writing with downcast eyes........

Time: Sunday afternoon
Mood: Pensive
Thoughts: Why I am the way I am?
Goal: To portray myself as a very cheerful persona......
Rationale: People tend to like happy people......happiness is what everyone craves for and they like to be surrounded by happy people too
Plan of action: Smile all the time; do not show your moods as I have lately been doing.

Reason for this post: Usually I am a happy person. But sometimes I have mood swings, which are triggered by stress at work or unkind words or actions from a loved one (who is far far way). This transforms into irritation, anger, hurt and negative emotions that affects my relationship with immediate people around me - usually my friends. I then get upet easily with things they do for no fault of theirs. And having hissed at them I feel ashamed the next day about my behavior. But being the nice friends they are they forgive me. But there still lingers a feeling of unease in my maybe if I keep smiling all the time I will overcome these "mood swings"?