Time: Sunday afternoon
Mood: Pensive
Thoughts: Why I am the way I am?
Goal: To portray myself as a very cheerful persona......
Rationale: People tend to like happy people......happiness is what everyone craves for and they like to be surrounded by happy people too
Plan of action: Smile all the time; do not show your moods as I have lately been doing.
Reason for this post: Usually I am a happy person. But sometimes I have mood swings, which are triggered by stress at work or unkind words or actions from a loved one (who is far far way). This transforms into irritation, anger, hurt and negative emotions that affects my relationship with immediate people around me - usually my friends. I then get upet easily with things they do for no fault of theirs. And having hissed at them I feel ashamed the next day about my behavior. But being the nice friends they are they forgive me. But there still lingers a feeling of unease in my heart.......so maybe if I keep smiling all the time I will overcome these "mood swings"?
December 03, 2006
October 16, 2006
Love...
Love is not what happened when our eyes met first,
Love is not what I felt with your first touch.
I knew it was love when...
.....my heart cried seeing you unhappy,
.....my heart danced seeing you smile,
.......my heart sang at the mention of your name.
I knew it was love when,
......I felt lonely if I did not see you for a day,
.......I got the courage to stand up against the world to be with you.
I know it is love when I leave you realizing that you love me not anymore.
Disclaimer: Not an effect of Jillunu Oru Kaadhal!!!
Love is not what I felt with your first touch.
I knew it was love when...
.....my heart cried seeing you unhappy,
.....my heart danced seeing you smile,
.......my heart sang at the mention of your name.
I knew it was love when,
......I felt lonely if I did not see you for a day,
.......I got the courage to stand up against the world to be with you.
I know it is love when I leave you realizing that you love me not anymore.
Disclaimer: Not an effect of Jillunu Oru Kaadhal!!!
October 09, 2006
Just a passing thought.....
Those four letters always creates some strong emotion in me……………….a smile, a flutter, a sadness, a longing, an anguish……………………sometimes a mixture of all these things. Any similar sounding words brings you to my mind……..that smile, that deep look in your eyes, your face an inscrutable mask always……are you thinking about the same thoughts as me I wonder?
Some things are better left unsaid I believe…………..
September 23, 2006
Kadhal virus.....
It can be seen in your eyes, it can be seen in the tiniest of actions....
"Kaatikodukirathe kanne kaatikodikiruthe
Kadhal vazhigiruthe kannil kadhal vazhigiruthe!"
How do you hide something like love?
Love creeps into you....slowly...you never realise it and then it hits you in the face full blown! Then it is too late to stop it!
When it does wither away, it makes a deep unhealable gnash in your heart.
Literally you can feel your heart bleed!
These cherichable footprints of love....the lingering gazes, the slight touches, the deep sighs, painful fights, tearful making ups.........what more do you want from life?
"Kaatikodukirathe kanne kaatikodikiruthe
Kadhal vazhigiruthe kannil kadhal vazhigiruthe!"
How do you hide something like love?
Love creeps into you....slowly...you never realise it and then it hits you in the face full blown! Then it is too late to stop it!
When it does wither away, it makes a deep unhealable gnash in your heart.
Literally you can feel your heart bleed!
These cherichable footprints of love....the lingering gazes, the slight touches, the deep sighs, painful fights, tearful making ups.........what more do you want from life?
September 17, 2006
Some facts in my life that I have to remind myself....
- This phase will soon pass....so do not worry.
- This phase will soon pass...so hold onto every minute of it.
- You are what you are, so try not change yourself for any one.
- Change is good especially if it is in the interest of somebody else
September 09, 2006
En kelvikku enna pathil?
Nan 4th padikache enga amma solluva - nee periya ponna aayitta, u shld not fight with your bro - nee vittukudukanumnu.
Again when I was in 8th she told me the same thing!
When I was at the end of 12th std, people around me constantly reminded me that college is a new phase and I am now an adult and will have to be responsible for all the decisions in my life.
Now at this stage (grad school), I know I am a grown adult but I sometimes wonder if I actually behave like one? I fight with my best friend often, I still fight over who should have the last piece of cake, I feel bad if amma and appa call up my bro more often than me. I feel terrible if A ignores me and watches football on TV. I love to play in the rain. I love to pull pranks on people. I love to tease others. I giggle a lot with my girlfriends. I sulk when I am not given attention. So as an adult am I allowed to do all these things? Am I still allowed to waste time on Friday nights till 4 in the morning doing nothing but hanging out with friends? Am I still allowed to have crushes that I know are going nowhere?Do all these things make me less of an adult?
This is an eternal confusion that persists in me. What are things adults do and when do you leave all your childish habits behind?
Suddenly I do get anwers to my own question - the day when I control my emotions and give all the help I can to someone I dislike totally, the day when I let small things go and be nice to A, the day when I level headedly consider someone's critical remark of me and agree that they are totally right. So is this the beginning to adulthood or will at every stage of life I still feel that I am not acting upto that part as yet?
Yeah I am in a very philosophical mood today!!!
Again when I was in 8th she told me the same thing!
When I was at the end of 12th std, people around me constantly reminded me that college is a new phase and I am now an adult and will have to be responsible for all the decisions in my life.
Now at this stage (grad school), I know I am a grown adult but I sometimes wonder if I actually behave like one? I fight with my best friend often, I still fight over who should have the last piece of cake, I feel bad if amma and appa call up my bro more often than me. I feel terrible if A ignores me and watches football on TV. I love to play in the rain. I love to pull pranks on people. I love to tease others. I giggle a lot with my girlfriends. I sulk when I am not given attention. So as an adult am I allowed to do all these things? Am I still allowed to waste time on Friday nights till 4 in the morning doing nothing but hanging out with friends? Am I still allowed to have crushes that I know are going nowhere?Do all these things make me less of an adult?
This is an eternal confusion that persists in me. What are things adults do and when do you leave all your childish habits behind?
Suddenly I do get anwers to my own question - the day when I control my emotions and give all the help I can to someone I dislike totally, the day when I let small things go and be nice to A, the day when I level headedly consider someone's critical remark of me and agree that they are totally right. So is this the beginning to adulthood or will at every stage of life I still feel that I am not acting upto that part as yet?
Yeah I am in a very philosophical mood today!!!
August 28, 2006
Quick Update
Quick update abt things happening since my last post:
* Worked on my thesis proposal...phew! that's out of the way now...(for people who are wondering what that is...its another step towards my degree!)
* Month long trip to Chennai - itha pathi sollave thevai illai...full maja thaan! namma ooru maarave illai...ofcourse ippo enna difference na there is more traffic, more people and more cell phones....keerai-kaari kooda has a mobile!!!!
* Back to work....or am I really? Still very disoriented...hate coming back here! Seperated from loved ones..its hard to get back!
* Our gang of 14 has now dwindled to a gang of 7...with people graduating, getting jobs etc. We still have other new comers but I am always wary of new junta so find it hard to embrace them immediately.
* Miss 2005 time with my very close friends terribly! It was a very simple life with As, me, K, An, Aa, N and P (preserving anonymity here!). All these except P have moved out....I am more than happy that P is still around.
* Waiting for Sillunu oru Kaadhal release. Trailers ellam supera irruku! Btw do u think Jo and Surya will really get married?
What's up from your end my friends? Many of you have not done much updating either...hope to read your posts soon!
* Worked on my thesis proposal...phew! that's out of the way now...(for people who are wondering what that is...its another step towards my degree!)
* Month long trip to Chennai - itha pathi sollave thevai illai...full maja thaan! namma ooru maarave illai...ofcourse ippo enna difference na there is more traffic, more people and more cell phones....keerai-kaari kooda has a mobile!!!!
* Back to work....or am I really? Still very disoriented...hate coming back here! Seperated from loved ones..its hard to get back!
* Our gang of 14 has now dwindled to a gang of 7...with people graduating, getting jobs etc. We still have other new comers but I am always wary of new junta so find it hard to embrace them immediately.
* Miss 2005 time with my very close friends terribly! It was a very simple life with As, me, K, An, Aa, N and P (preserving anonymity here!). All these except P have moved out....I am more than happy that P is still around.
* Waiting for Sillunu oru Kaadhal release. Trailers ellam supera irruku! Btw do u think Jo and Surya will really get married?
What's up from your end my friends? Many of you have not done much updating either...hope to read your posts soon!
August 21, 2006
June 26, 2006
What kind of soul are you?
I was too bored to work ....so decided to find my soul type!
| You Are a Peacemaker Soul |
 While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul |
What Kind of Soul Are You?
May 16, 2006
Why?????
Why do I do love something when it is not rightfully mine?
Why do I have to be the one to give in every single time?
When I know that true love is unconditional, why do I expect to be loved?
Why do I assume that people will never change?
Why do I never learn from the past mistakes of my heart?
Why do I act as if I am the happiest person on earth when I am sobbing inside?
Why do I have to meet certain people in life?
When I know I am blessed with so many things in life, why do I crib about trivial things I do not possess?
Why?
Why do I have to be the one to give in every single time?
When I know that true love is unconditional, why do I expect to be loved?
Why do I assume that people will never change?
Why do I never learn from the past mistakes of my heart?
Why do I act as if I am the happiest person on earth when I am sobbing inside?
Why do I have to meet certain people in life?
When I know I am blessed with so many things in life, why do I crib about trivial things I do not possess?
Why?
May 06, 2006
Tulip time!!
Spring is finally here......tis the season of singing birds, vivid flowers, longer days, open toed sandals, flowery skirts, long walks, cool nights etc etc.......!!!!Above are some of the pics I took during my visit to a nearby Dutch community. The colours fascinated me.............wish I had a better camera to capture the essence of these pretty flowers.
April 23, 2006
If only......
"I love your dark green shirt! It goes so well with your gray eyes" she told him.
He smiled. His smile always made her melt. She leaned close to him and could smell his Old Spice aftershave...another familar scent. She leaned over to take some papers from his desk. Theirs arms brushed and a tinge of pleasure ran down her spine.
He was a big support in her life. Since his desk was right next to hers at work, they also shared a lot of stories about their coworkers. He could read her face so well and konja sogam therinjalum he would be right beside her making her feel better.
"Hmm....how I wish life were different" she thought walking home from the bus stop tired after a long day. He always offered to drop her but she refused. He understood.
She walked to find that his car was already at home. The TV was blaring ,with chips strewn all over the place.
"Enna innikum late?" he asked, his black eyes glowing with irritation.
"Sorrynga naraiya velai ....I shall start cooking in a minute" she said, getting ready to make his favourite pulao. "If only life was different........" she sighed!
He smiled. His smile always made her melt. She leaned close to him and could smell his Old Spice aftershave...another familar scent. She leaned over to take some papers from his desk. Theirs arms brushed and a tinge of pleasure ran down her spine.
He was a big support in her life. Since his desk was right next to hers at work, they also shared a lot of stories about their coworkers. He could read her face so well and konja sogam therinjalum he would be right beside her making her feel better.
"Hmm....how I wish life were different" she thought walking home from the bus stop tired after a long day. He always offered to drop her but she refused. He understood.
She walked to find that his car was already at home. The TV was blaring ,with chips strewn all over the place.
"Enna innikum late?" he asked, his black eyes glowing with irritation.
"Sorrynga naraiya velai ....I shall start cooking in a minute" she said, getting ready to make his favourite pulao. "If only life was different........" she sighed!
April 16, 2006
Chennai Saapadu Piriyargalukku.....
Ennaku hotela saapadarthu na romba ishtam.....eppovena saapada thayaar....enga amma kitta eppa parthalum complain paanikitte irrupen....
"Amma un sanbar en hotel sambar maathiri illa? En un chutni hotel getti chutni maathiri illa?"
Amma solluvanga, " Unakellam anga irrikura waiters oda veruvai azhukku ellam pottu kudutha nalla saapuduva, inga kashta pattu cleana panna unakku irangathu!"Paavam amma....
Ennoda ishta hotels ellam inga varusai padutha poren...neenga yaaravathu intha hotels la saaptu irrukeengala?
- Ofcourse, Madras naale first hotel mansauku varuvathu Saravana Bhavan thaan (see Kay's post for his experience there) - Mini Tiffin romba pidikkum!
- Stella Mary's opposite illa irrukum Gangotri (naan chaat na uyireye vituviduven)
- Fountain Plaza Ajnabi
- Nungambakkam Suprabhat - Super Barota Kuruma
- Nungambakkam High Road Dynasty - Indian Chinese food Oh Ho!!
- Pondy Bazaar Hot Chips
- Spencers Plaza Food Court
- Anna Nagar Planet Yummm
- Central Buhari's - angu Pongal sooper
- Nungai Cakes and Bakes- Veggie Burger kalakals
- Pizza Hut - Panner Pizza-ku munadi US la kadaikira pizza ellam thoosu
- VGP Family Dosai (saaptadhu illai ...sappdanumnu aasai)
- Mylapore Bombay Halwa House - naan and fried rice amogam!
- Besant Nagar Aavin Sweets palgova
- Adyar 'Traffic Jam' - Panner Butter Masala...aaha!
- Thallu vandi Sugar Cane juice.....aamam inthu hotel varusaiyil varaathu aana nana enga karumbu juice parthalum, kudipen.......Ranganathan street vaasala irrukum Karumbu Juice store hot favourite
Ippadiye ezhuthite pogalam.....
Cha! Ithellam vitu enda ingu vanthom appdini ippo thonuthu!!!
April 14, 2006
April 11, 2006
Chiku buku chiku buku rail....
Vazhakai oru rail payanam. You keep going towards your destination ….in that time you meet people who get on and off …some of them leave an imprint you will never forget......
One of my friends said this to me today – “You have made a very sweet impression in my life!”. I was touched to hear that........there are very few people you connect with instantly and it really saddens me when you cannot be with them forever. All you can do is cherish the moments you spent together....
“Naan urumai illamal thavikinren,
Naan azhthukonde sirikinren!”
There are certain people in life who you get very close to but you know this phase is only going to last for a short time…….after a period of few hours/days/months/years life is going to take you in separate ways.
These are thoughts put together due to the fact that in a matter of months, my destination will arrive and I will be seperated from few people in this world who I care for very much.......I know emails and phone calls can keep u in touch constantly....but nothing like a face to face conversation.....
"Nee illamal ethu nimmathi?
Nee than ingu yen sannidhi."
April 07, 2006
Mamma Mia!!
Yesterday I saw Mamma Mia, the broadway musical based on the songs by ABBA. It was absolutely fabulous!!! The music was enchanting and lively and the charecters had played their role to perfection.The costumes were very colourful with a blend of blues and pinks in every scene. The women were gorgeous and the men handsome!!!The story is set on a Greek island and is about a daughter's search for her father. For more of the story click here.The show had come to our city and as students we got "discounted" tickets which were $36 each. I have always wanted to see a broadway show and decided that this time I am not going to miss it irrespective of the cost! The play was worth the money and much more....
The auditorium was half empty so for the $36 tickets we got a chance to sit at the $56 seats. What else could make a desi happy?
If you do get a chance to see Mamma Mia, do not miss it!
March 27, 2006
About nothing!!!
I have been kinda busy with work to think of something to blog.....aana etho update pannanumnu thonichu...so this is gonna be a random post about remarkable and unremarkable things in the last few days!!
- Got up with the words "dammit!" this morning (becus I was late!)
- Had Indian Chinese food on Friday which we all prepared. Menu was Hot and Sour Soup, Veg Manchurian, Gobi Manchurian, Chili Chicken, Chili Panneer and Fried Rice!!!
- Had a fight with roomie on Friday morning - if u do not find a good roomie then u r doomed!
- Stayed up till 2.00 on Sat night with friends discussing pregnancy, contraception, Indian politics, why seperate Islam law in India and finally Yoga....yeah random discussions!
- Got an award for "Outstanding Graduate Student as Mentor" - nambamudiyala illa? Same here! All my friends have been wondering if there was a system error that they gave the award to me!!
- Saw Flight Plan and Million Dollar Baby over the weekend - nice movies!
- Had 3 hour discussion with advisor about the future course of PhD
- Ran behind the city bus for 5 mins before I caught it ! (Madras nyabagam vanthichu!)
- Went for a drive with friends listening to "Maramkothiye (Ah Aah)" playing again and again...amzing beat!!!
- Had "paan" after a loooong time
So intha ellathukkum nadupura engenthu PHD ku time aapdinu kekkaringala??? Antha kelvi enakkum appo appo varum ...aaana athellam thali vechittu nan maatuka full enjoy pannitu irruken!
Right now I am humming "Partha Muthal Naale" from Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu...listen to it if you haven't yet. Its good!
Escape for now.......
March 15, 2006
Escape to wilderness!
Our gang (14 of us) went on a camping trip to Mark Twain State Park, Missouri over the weekend. Here are some pics from the trip.
View from our cabin....
View during trek.....
Dark clouds rolling in..."Megam karukkidhu"
Some pleasant memories of the trip :
- Beautiful cabins ..altho no water suppy or toilet facilties. Had to walk for 10 mins to get to water and restrooms.
- Waking up to a hot cup of tea, and a beautiful view.
- Campfire songs....
- Lying down on the ground watching the moon and stars.
- Driving a Dodge Armada....never driven an SUV before!!! It was rocking!!
- Never missed the internet or phone (no signal) for a moment (in one of my posts I say that I cannot live without either...seems like I very well can!
- I thought being with 14 people for 48 hours will be overwhelming but it was awesome!!
Wish I could have stayed here for ever.......
March 03, 2006
Tagged!
Got tagged by Mystery!! Thanks Mystery!!! This is the first time I have been tagged....roma perumaiya irruku :)
Ten Years Ago
Veetula sollama first time theatrela padam parthen
Particpated in school fashion show in culturals
Got over my first crush
Met a person who would change my life significantly
Five Years Ago
Came to the US
Realized how much I want to go back to India
Started exercising regularly
Last one year
Met another person who affected my life profoundly (sorry for all this mystery...am not in a position now to divulge the roles these people have played!)
Went on a road trip with 10 friends and had the best time of my life!
Made a boy cry!
Started thinking "What's my role in life?" - my first philisophcal thoughts
Watched all episodes of Sex and the City
Published 3 papers
Tore my ankle ligament
Yesterday-
Saw Rang de Basanti on big screen.
Was on the phone with a friend for 2 hours .
Cleaned snow off my car
Slept at 2.00 am
Five Yummy things
Cadbury's Fruit and Nut
Bhel Puri
Rasagulla
Halwa
Avial (I love it!)
Five songs I know by heart
Jai jagadeesha Hare
Vasegara (Minnale)
Kanne kalaimane (Moonram Pirai)
Tanha Dil (Shaan)
Tere mere saath (Aks - Lucky Ali)
Places I escape to
Lab (sadly yes!)
Long drives to anywhere
Walks by myself or friends
Drown myself in music
Books
Five things I'd do if I have money
Build an orphanage in India
Travel all around the world
Spend like crazy on family, friends and myself
Fund a SWAT team to kill all terrorists (an eye for an eye!) - effect of Rang de basanti!
Dine in the best restaurants
Sixth .....Go to India every 2 months
TV Shows
Friends
Friends
Friends
Related
Sex and the City
I have more shows I watch but these are my faves!
5 Things I can't Live without
Him
Talking to friends
Drinking tea/coffee atleast twice a day
Hate to acknowledge this......internet and phone
Ten Years Ago
Veetula sollama first time theatrela padam parthen
Particpated in school fashion show in culturals
Got over my first crush
Met a person who would change my life significantly
Five Years Ago
Came to the US
Realized how much I want to go back to India
Started exercising regularly
Last one year
Met another person who affected my life profoundly (sorry for all this mystery...am not in a position now to divulge the roles these people have played!)
Went on a road trip with 10 friends and had the best time of my life!
Made a boy cry!
Started thinking "What's my role in life?" - my first philisophcal thoughts
Watched all episodes of Sex and the City
Published 3 papers
Tore my ankle ligament
Yesterday-
Saw Rang de Basanti on big screen.
Was on the phone with a friend for 2 hours .
Cleaned snow off my car
Slept at 2.00 am
Five Yummy things
Cadbury's Fruit and Nut
Bhel Puri
Rasagulla
Halwa
Avial (I love it!)
Five songs I know by heart
Jai jagadeesha Hare
Vasegara (Minnale)
Kanne kalaimane (Moonram Pirai)
Tanha Dil (Shaan)
Tere mere saath (Aks - Lucky Ali)
Places I escape to
Lab (sadly yes!)
Long drives to anywhere
Walks by myself or friends
Drown myself in music
Books
Five things I'd do if I have money
Build an orphanage in India
Travel all around the world
Spend like crazy on family, friends and myself
Fund a SWAT team to kill all terrorists (an eye for an eye!) - effect of Rang de basanti!
Dine in the best restaurants
Sixth .....Go to India every 2 months
TV Shows
Friends
Friends
Friends
Related
Sex and the City
I have more shows I watch but these are my faves!
5 Things I can't Live without
Him
Talking to friends
Drinking tea/coffee atleast twice a day
Hate to acknowledge this......internet and phone
February 25, 2006
Time changes.... so do people.....
10 yrs back,
He: " I love you....nee ondi serinu sonnena naan unnai thattila vechu thaangaren!"
9 yrs ago,
" Baby, I cannot even imagine one moment of seperation from you. How will I live without you?"
8 yrs ago,
"Sometimes its necessary to stay apart when we have things to achieve, careers to concenterate on.....we know we love each other so why do we have to cling together every minute? These 2 years will fly fast I promise, my love"
6 yrs back,
" Honey, See these 2 years flew so fast, why not another 4 years? If I come back now then I might regret it for my entire life...you do not want that right?"
2 years back,
"Sorry I know did not get a chance to talk to you last evening but so what if we do not talk for a day? We are going to be talking for the rest of our life once we are together!"
Now,
He : "Hey dude....sorry I did not return your calls the last 3 days...work kept me busy and in the evening these guys want to party everyday..so hard to even get to the phone....yeah yeah I love u too U should know that since u have been with me the last 10 years...how can you even ask me such a question as to whether I love you? Have I ever asked you that?
Appram I shall call u this weekend and not before that because I am too stressed out even to talk now a days......
If you have any probs you can always handle it you are very strong....catch ya later...Bye!"
Her heart grieves with pain but she continues her life with a smile as if nothing has changed......
He: " I love you....nee ondi serinu sonnena naan unnai thattila vechu thaangaren!"
9 yrs ago,
" Baby, I cannot even imagine one moment of seperation from you. How will I live without you?"
8 yrs ago,
"Sometimes its necessary to stay apart when we have things to achieve, careers to concenterate on.....we know we love each other so why do we have to cling together every minute? These 2 years will fly fast I promise, my love"
6 yrs back,
" Honey, See these 2 years flew so fast, why not another 4 years? If I come back now then I might regret it for my entire life...you do not want that right?"
2 years back,
"Sorry I know did not get a chance to talk to you last evening but so what if we do not talk for a day? We are going to be talking for the rest of our life once we are together!"
Now,
He : "Hey dude....sorry I did not return your calls the last 3 days...work kept me busy and in the evening these guys want to party everyday..so hard to even get to the phone....yeah yeah I love u too U should know that since u have been with me the last 10 years...how can you even ask me such a question as to whether I love you? Have I ever asked you that?
Appram I shall call u this weekend and not before that because I am too stressed out even to talk now a days......
If you have any probs you can always handle it you are very strong....catch ya later...Bye!"
Her heart grieves with pain but she continues her life with a smile as if nothing has changed......
February 22, 2006
Why the outright kiss?
This is a parallel story to Logic’s ‘Outright Kiss’. Read this here first.
When Ramesh proposed to me, my first thoughts were about you. I rushed to you ….
"Vijay, you gotto tell da...else i wont accept him"’ I said.
I was hoping the answer would be "Vendam Kavi….I love you more…please be with me".
But you acted as if you did not care.
When Ramesh left Chennai, I turned to you again for everything. I was hoping our friendship would blossom into something more. I even mentioned that I did not love Ramesh anymore. Again you acted as if you did not care.
You came with me everywhere, support me in everything but nothing beyond that.
I wanted to show you I love you…..I even bunked my exams to take care of you……you thanked me like any other friend would have.
I was heart broken for days. How much more can a girl put herself out there?
Suddenly I received a letter from Ramesh saying that he is coming back and he wants to be with me again. He said he would make amendments for all the pain he caused me.
I was in a fix…..do I go back to the person who had the courage to say he loved me or do I hang around waiting for a person who never recognized my love?
"Let me invite him to airport with me and maybe the pressure will make him say something" I decided.
The plane from Zurich landed but so far nothing other than comments about passing women. I gave up!
In frustration and confusion I ran to Ramesh and kissed him then outrightly!
“Serves you right, Vijay” I thought “for having made me believe that I am more than a friend to you but doing nothing about it.”
When Ramesh proposed to me, my first thoughts were about you. I rushed to you ….
"Vijay, you gotto tell da...else i wont accept him"’ I said.
I was hoping the answer would be "Vendam Kavi….I love you more…please be with me".
But you acted as if you did not care.
When Ramesh left Chennai, I turned to you again for everything. I was hoping our friendship would blossom into something more. I even mentioned that I did not love Ramesh anymore. Again you acted as if you did not care.
You came with me everywhere, support me in everything but nothing beyond that.
I wanted to show you I love you…..I even bunked my exams to take care of you……you thanked me like any other friend would have.
I was heart broken for days. How much more can a girl put herself out there?
Suddenly I received a letter from Ramesh saying that he is coming back and he wants to be with me again. He said he would make amendments for all the pain he caused me.
I was in a fix…..do I go back to the person who had the courage to say he loved me or do I hang around waiting for a person who never recognized my love?
"Let me invite him to airport with me and maybe the pressure will make him say something" I decided.
The plane from Zurich landed but so far nothing other than comments about passing women. I gave up!
In frustration and confusion I ran to Ramesh and kissed him then outrightly!
“Serves you right, Vijay” I thought “for having made me believe that I am more than a friend to you but doing nothing about it.”
February 20, 2006
Frozen!!!
Guess what the temperature here was a couple of days ago? - 12 F (that is approx -25C)!!!!!! That is freaking cold for a person from the ovens of Madras!!!! And in this lowest of the low temperatures I had to go pick up a friend from the bus station up at 3.00 am. At this ungodly hour, my car refused to heat up for a good 30 mins...by the time it did, I was back home again with frozen fingers. That was the coldest day of the year I think!
Here's a description of my daily attire in the winter- thermals, sweater, jeans, fleece jacket, winter jacket, gloves, scarf,hat, woolen socks and shoes. I wrap my scarf around my neck and face so only my eyes peep out. Dressing up this way also serves as a good way of finding out who my true friends are! You see.... not many people recognise me if I am dressed this way but my close friends!! This other day, I see a similarly attired guy walking towards me...both of us stop.... stare into each others eyes for what seems eternity till I recoginze him as a close friend! Sometimes I even wave to people who I don't know but assume it's somebody familar!!! Good time to make new friends too!
One good thing about dressing this way is you can keep wearing the same clothes inside everyday and nobody (but the people who work with you) know! Same black jacket every single day..but I pep myself with 3 different glove, scarf, hat sets to mix n match - purple, blue and black!
Also not to forget the many falls I have slipping on the ice...thankfully nothing hurt till now except my ego when from "well wishers" call out to me to walk carefully everytime they see me!
Last but not the least, here are a few tips to survive a cold winter (and also not to look stupid in the process):
Here's a description of my daily attire in the winter- thermals, sweater, jeans, fleece jacket, winter jacket, gloves, scarf,hat, woolen socks and shoes. I wrap my scarf around my neck and face so only my eyes peep out. Dressing up this way also serves as a good way of finding out who my true friends are! You see.... not many people recognise me if I am dressed this way but my close friends!! This other day, I see a similarly attired guy walking towards me...both of us stop.... stare into each others eyes for what seems eternity till I recoginze him as a close friend! Sometimes I even wave to people who I don't know but assume it's somebody familar!!! Good time to make new friends too!
One good thing about dressing this way is you can keep wearing the same clothes inside everyday and nobody (but the people who work with you) know! Same black jacket every single day..but I pep myself with 3 different glove, scarf, hat sets to mix n match - purple, blue and black!
Also not to forget the many falls I have slipping on the ice...thankfully nothing hurt till now except my ego when from "well wishers" call out to me to walk carefully everytime they see me!
Last but not the least, here are a few tips to survive a cold winter (and also not to look stupid in the process):
- Never over estimate your capacity...especially you guys who think it is macho to wear nothing but a cotton shirt when its freezing. We girls do not think its macho, we just think that you are too cheap to buy a winter jacket!
- Take baby steps on the ice.......better to look like a vaathu walking on the streets than to lie splatterred like a pushnikkai!
- Do not use your umbrella when it snows...it looks stupid!
- Do not wear a monkey cap too for the same reason.
- Find a good friend who will be ready to make you bajjis and tea when you are on the way home from a rough cold day (this is the best remedy for the winter)
- If a friend calls you for the same favour, say that you have been stranded in the lab due to the snow ......go to her place after an hour..she will most probably have the bajjis ready by then.
- Have 2 jobs - one down south where you can go during winter.
- Alternatively have 2 wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands - preferably one of them stationed somewhere warm, so you can visit them every weekend or when it gets too cold!
- Hibernate from Nov to March.
February 15, 2006
What would you do if this were your last day on earth?
This question was asked by one of the charecters on Grey's Anatomy last week and this set me thinking. What would I want to do if this were my last day on earth? I am sure you will all agree that each one of us will have a list of philanthropic things to do.....hence I am going to narrow down the list (omiting things like give money to the needy, donate organs etc etc) and just tell you the things I would like to do.....
- Stop research at the instant I hear that this is the last day and run out of my lab.....gathering my possessions from there
- Ferverently beg God to give me more time to waste on this earth!
- Withdraw the meagre savings from my bank and distribute it to my family, clear debts and keep some for me (to spend on my last day ofcourse!).
- Talk to my parents explaining why I did certain things and ask for their forgiveness.
- Tell my family how much I love them.
- Tell my beloved how much I love him......
- Buy gifts for him - one for each year that he will spend without me......
- Tell a certain someone how much they mean to me.....ask them if I mean as much?
- Eat bhelpuri......
- Eat lots of other things...if I am going then why bother about calories???
- Get together with friends and have a blast...
- Try drinking, smoking etc since I have always wanted to try but never had the courage to do so.....
- Watch 'Friends' for sometime
- Spend the rest of whatever time is left at the beach.
What would you do if this were your last day on the earth?
(I do not want you thinking depressing thoughts but this does provide you a new prospective on life doesn't it?)
February 13, 2006
Valentine's day
Ok....come on now there should definetely be a post for this day right? But what do I write about....love? what I want for V day? What I am giving ? Or what my best V day has been so far??? hmm......
Anways this day always reminds of my first V day when I was in college...I am getting ready to go college and Amma says - "Di do not accept any card or gifts from anybody in college."
Me (acting innocent) - " Chee ma how can u say that? Na poi kanda pasanga kiitenthu card vaangu venna?
Amma (suspicious) -" Therinja pasanga kittenthum vaangatha...!"
Me (exasperated) - "Seri ma ippo aala vidaraiya!!" and escape....
Makes me smile everytime I remember this.......
Seri seri enuf of mothers on V Day!
First year - We all (boys and gals) decided to do a mass celebration of V day; girls tied red satin ribbons on their hair to mark the occassion and then we all went and had Kwality Ice cream.
Second year - 'He' convinced me that friends could celebrate V day too...so he gave me 2 audio cassesttes called 'Love Blossoms' (hindi collection) .....Onnume puriytha mathiri I took it home!
Third year - We mututally exchanged "friendship" gifts on Valentine's Day !
Fourth year - Totall lovey dovey exchange of 'I love u sooooo much' cards and heart shaoed gifts......
And so on goes our story....
Now after our marriage.......
Me - " What are you getting me for V day?"
He - " Enna venumo nee ye solidu...appram ithu athu nu crib pannatha"
Me - " I think V Day is being over rated these days and also I have decided to save money this year..so let's get something cheap for each other!"
He - "Hmm...nee ippdai than solluva appram na cheapa ethavathu vaanginena nee kochupa!"
and so went our conversations......let's see what V day brings!!!
But all said and done........."Honey, U r the best Valentine I can ever get!"
Anways this day always reminds of my first V day when I was in college...I am getting ready to go college and Amma says - "Di do not accept any card or gifts from anybody in college."
Me (acting innocent) - " Chee ma how can u say that? Na poi kanda pasanga kiitenthu card vaangu venna?
Amma (suspicious) -" Therinja pasanga kittenthum vaangatha...!"
Me (exasperated) - "Seri ma ippo aala vidaraiya!!" and escape....
Makes me smile everytime I remember this.......
Seri seri enuf of mothers on V Day!
First year - We all (boys and gals) decided to do a mass celebration of V day; girls tied red satin ribbons on their hair to mark the occassion and then we all went and had Kwality Ice cream.
Second year - 'He' convinced me that friends could celebrate V day too...so he gave me 2 audio cassesttes called 'Love Blossoms' (hindi collection) .....Onnume puriytha mathiri I took it home!
Third year - We mututally exchanged "friendship" gifts on Valentine's Day !
Fourth year - Totall lovey dovey exchange of 'I love u sooooo much' cards and heart shaoed gifts......
And so on goes our story....
Now after our marriage.......
Me - " What are you getting me for V day?"
He - " Enna venumo nee ye solidu...appram ithu athu nu crib pannatha"
Me - " I think V Day is being over rated these days and also I have decided to save money this year..so let's get something cheap for each other!"
He - "Hmm...nee ippdai than solluva appram na cheapa ethavathu vaanginena nee kochupa!"
and so went our conversations......let's see what V day brings!!!
But all said and done........."Honey, U r the best Valentine I can ever get!"
February 08, 2006
Listening time!
Check this out..... http://tcastle.com/sweetiepie.html (keep your speakers on!)....
I love the voice of the kid on this one........
Sweet na???!!!!!!
I love the voice of the kid on this one........
Sweet na???!!!!!!
February 07, 2006
I miss.....
our long chats into the night,
the zillion emails we exchanged every day about nothing,
our frequent fights and tearful make-ups,
cooking together,
long drives,
your attempts to make me smile when I am down,
my attempts to cheer you up when you act as if is nothing is wrong but in reality everything is,
your sole attention directed towards me when there are 20 more people in the room,
you wanting to hanging around after everybody leaves,
our chats in the car, corridor, stairs, lab, anywhere we meet,
your attention to my small whims,
watching movies with you,
I miss everything about us,
I miss not having you as my best friend anymore.
the zillion emails we exchanged every day about nothing,
our frequent fights and tearful make-ups,
cooking together,
long drives,
your attempts to make me smile when I am down,
my attempts to cheer you up when you act as if is nothing is wrong but in reality everything is,
your sole attention directed towards me when there are 20 more people in the room,
you wanting to hanging around after everybody leaves,
our chats in the car, corridor, stairs, lab, anywhere we meet,
your attention to my small whims,
watching movies with you,
I miss everything about us,
I miss not having you as my best friend anymore.
January 28, 2006
Saravana!
I like our little star Simbu for some vague reason (I feel he is very talented....wait wait I have changed my mind now!) and hence " Vivek comedy Sarvana padathula romba super nu" poi solli I made some of my totally anti Simbu friends watch the movie last nite. God what a waste of time!!! Vivek hardly appeared for 2 scenes that had nothing to do with comedy. Nagesh's acting was pathetic. Jo looked cute but more like a older sis to Simbu....and Simbu , what can I say but that he let me down totally! Paathi scenes la overacting and meethi padathula zero acting! Yen friends ellam ore gaandu yen mela.....! The only enjoyable part in the movie was all the Thirunelvi baashai......"Yele! enga poi nikka? Apu ennale chollarai? Charavana katthiya veesu le" etc etc. Sirkanth Deva avar appa vaiye minjitaaru paatu bit adikiruthula!!! The latest Black Eyes Peas song is in the movie!!!!
And I do not understand this airport last scene in all movies. Seems like the hero or the heroine has to miss their international flight to end the movie? Huh ithu enna oru puthu trendu!
Simbu inime Thotti Jaya maathiri roles edithuko so u do not have to much to say!!
Saravana ......odi ponga na!!!
(Last line should be read like the Sun TV Top 10 movies guy :) !! )
And I do not understand this airport last scene in all movies. Seems like the hero or the heroine has to miss their international flight to end the movie? Huh ithu enna oru puthu trendu!
Simbu inime Thotti Jaya maathiri roles edithuko so u do not have to much to say!!
Saravana ......odi ponga na!!!
(Last line should be read like the Sun TV Top 10 movies guy :) !! )
January 26, 2006
You invited me for a flight of fancy. We soared along blissfully on the promises you made..... when for no reason you pushed me down. I am falling and falling……. I am confident that a parachute will open sometime before I crash down but till that its going to be scary ride. I never wanted to get on this flight with you in the first place!
January 19, 2006
January 11, 2006
Tejo Mahal???!!!!!
You might have received this as a forward in the recent times...if not check this out.....http://www.flex.com/~jai/satyamevajayate/tejo.html. Recent evidence points out that Taj Mahal was originally a Hindu Palace! I was interested to read the article but more thoughts crept in at the end of it.....is this going to be the new Babri Masjid issue? Why cannot people just let things be? Why do they want to start a new way to antagonize another community’s beliefs? Is it not easy to admire the monument's beauty and splendor and let history be? Many of you might not agree on this as I found that some of my friends did not either...if it was built by Hindus then it should rightfully belong to us they argued! These discussions irk me a lot since I believe religion to be the main cause for most battles. Ofcourse I do realize that if these facts are true, then it should revealed to the world. But I feel strongly that no further action should be taken but to just leave Taj Mahal be the symbol of never ending love as it has always been know to us.
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